Alternate Universe Classes!

The Smoker:  a former athelete who has become a chronic smoker.  Can run extremely fast, but has to stop and catch his breath from time to time.
Primary weapon: Assault Rifle.  does decent damage, but has a long reload time.
Secondary weapon: Flicked cigarettes - low range, but can set enemies on fire.
Melee Weapon:  Carton of Marlboros.
Special Ability - can puff smoke out in a radius that slows enemies, and temporarily lowers their max health.

The Hippie: 
Primary Weapon: Flower power.  Launches flowers at enemies that explode in a cloud of pollen and damage enemies.  (we're going on the assumption that all the classes have sever allergies).
Secondary weapon:  Protest Slogans.
Melee Weapon: Friendship Bracelet.

The Cryo:
Primary weapon: Ice gun that does moderate damage but coats enemies w/ice that prevents them from being healed.
Secondary weapon: SMG
Melee Weapon:  Ice Pick

The Butcher:
Primary weapon: Pig-chucker.  Launches rotting pork products that explode due to methane buildup.
Secondary Weapon: Spam-Launcer:  Launches chunks of delicous Spam that stick to walls and explode when shot!
Melee Weapon: Butcher's Knife.

The Skinny: A slim customer with the lowest health in the game, but because he's so slim he's a hard target to hit: every shot fired at him has only a 50% chance of causing damage.
Primary weapon: dual SMGs - the only weapons light enough for him to carry.  fire quickly doing moderate damage, but his skinny little arms can't hold them steady, leading to a very wide spread.
Secondary weapon: sawed-off shotty.
Melee Weapon: Bitch-Slap.

The Jury-Rigger:  A down-home bumpkin who didn't even finish high school, but is sure handy with a roll of duct tape.
Primary weapon: Huntin' rifle
Secondary Weapon: six-shooter.
Melee Weapon: 2x4 with some nails in it.
Duct tape: the duct tape replaces the construction PDA - using his duct tape the Jury-rigger can whip up a makeshift sentry out of any weapon he finds on the battlefield, but these low-quality constructions have very low health.

The Necromancer:  This former doctor sold his soul for some awesome new toys and abilities!  however, he must constantly find medkits or drain health from enemies, as to guarantee a return on its investment Hell gave him a debilitating disease that slowly drains away his health...
Primary weapon: A needlegun.  The needles themselves don't do damage, but they do actually give enemies AIDS.
Secondary weapon:  Mephistophele's Patented Life-Draining Abomination!  This Faustian device drains enemies health, and can transfer it to you or your teammates.
Melee Weapon: Human Skull
Special Ability: Uses the Life-Drainer to raise dead teammates on the field.  Updated ability: the Zombifier- instead of raising dead teammates, it raises the enemies as zombie minions!

The Luckster (i know the name sucks):  The luck of the Irish is with this boyo!  he's a terrible shot, but somehow his bullets always drive home.
Primary Weapon: Sniper Rifle.  Instead of getting head shots, you get luckshots!  you start off with a high chance of getting a critical hit, but this drains quickly as you stay zoomed in because hey - who needs to aim when you got luck on your side?  also, no-scoped shots guarantee a critical hit!
Secondary Weapon: dual pistols.
Melee Weapon: Fisticuffs.

The Techie:  This techno-dweeb may never get a girlfriend, or even get out of his mom's basement, but he may just get your intelligence!
Primary Weapon:  homemade potato cannon.  moderate damage and accuracy
Melee Weapon:  homemade taser- designed by himself, gives a one-hit knockout if he gets you from behind, leaving you stunned for 30 seconds.  can give a knockout in 2 hits if not from up front.
Telepo

lol at Cryo. Extremely opposite of my favorite class.

ZOMG! It's bizarro TF2!

So much fun

I wanna play the Hippie class; Melee Weapon: Friendship Bracelet.  LMAO!! good one

I wanna play as the skinny!  wanna bitch slap  ppl!

woops, i apparently forgot to finish my post.  The techie's special abilities are to teleport himself behind enemy lines, and the Hologram - where he creates hologram clones of himself as decoys.

My name and avatar would probably fit the cyro better than the pyro.

ME WANT NECROMANCER

Also, how will the Protest Slogans work?

Quote:

My guess is, that it redirects all the fire from all classes to the hippie

Quote:

Or he could use them to beat down the facist oppressors