Ok, since kankle king reccomended I post up my application, I've decided now is the time. Since I can't contain myself, I'm going for a 3-pointer with this application. Enjoy.
As you know, I came around a couple of months ago as an earnest young player looking for a rousing good time with some cracking good players. I knew that with Team Fortress 2 Fort, I had found that good time, and have been a consistent regular on the servers since. I'm sure some of you are already well familiar with me and have reasons why you'd give me the green light, but for those of you not familiar, let me give you
The Top Three Reasons Why You Should Make Koff Zuppressor A Squig.1. It's What Bill Cosby Would Want.
Bill Cosby is a hardcore motherfucker. He's a good friend of Koff Zuppressor; they play Canasta on wednesdays, and Koff was midwife to his third child. If you were to deny Koff Zuppressor a spot on the Squigs, you might risk angering the Cosby. That might be the last mistake you ever make. He has a very strong pimp hand and doesn't tolerate suckas who make the wrong choice. Remember; he was Ghost Dad. He could be camping your bedroom right now.
2. Pies.
Koff Zuppressor has a limitless supply of pies in a disused bomb shelter in his backyard. Making tasty use of an otherwise useless space shows ingenuity, an important quality on any Team Fortress team. Koff Zuppresor pledges to supply each member of the clan with 100 pies each. One hundred delicious pies.
3. Koff Does It All For America.
Whenever Koff Zuppressor logs onto TF2, he knows that everything he does in game represents not only himself, but America. Koff loves America. He also knows that being American and representing his country well doesn't end in game; that's why whenever Koff goes outside in the morning to get the paper, he makes sure to wear nothing but his Stars & Stripes collector's briefs. If you were to accept Koff into the Squigs, he would also draw squigglies on another pair of briefs, letting the world know that he's a squig, and a squig where it counts.
In closing, Koff would bring fun, fantasy, and above all, pies to the Squigs. You will have better sex, $1,000 will be deposited into your bank account, and he's not even a half bad player! It's a win-win for everyone involved, so make your choice today. And remember, Bill Cosby is camping you. Watch for his crit pimpslap when he decloaks.