As by request of some members here, I shall organize all my TF2 poems in this thread. Any new additions will be added to the first post from here on, and I hope that those of you who have no read these will enjoy them. Most of the poems I have written thus far were based off of actual in-game occurrences. They start as the base for the story, but quickly form into a different creature that you read now. "UberSniper" is pretty much exactly how it happened; "The Outpost" is a general event that happened that was transformed severely into the masterpiece it is now. That's kinda how it works, ya?
If you have any requests for a type of story or a certain class that you would love, then go ahead and post up your ideas. If there was a memorable battle--the more comical or ironic the better--go ahead and let me know about it here so that I may think and elaborate on the ideas. I can get inspiration from my own games, but a lil' help never hurt. Who knows, you may see a story that you will find very familiar.
Without further ado, the TF2 Poetry.....
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GuiltyWith the jury and peers all watching in suspense
They noticed engineer's motions were growing tense.
The charge was heavy, for he tried to seduce,
A sentry into a relationship filled with abuse.
What defense did he have to the evidence they brought?
He could not win no matter how hard he fought.
Sadly, he resigned to listen and wait
for the unfortunate end to a miserable court date.
The charges were listed how engineer would clench
His sentry by the neck and beat it with a wrench.
And there, right behind, he would continue to thump
poor sentry as engineer proceeded to hump.
For hours he would stay there and grunt with each swing
He thrust with his wrench to hit the poor thing.
No escape to be had as Engy breathed from behind,
except when he shifted to another slave to grind.
Sentry had no legs--and sadly could not deter
From watching as Engy bled life from Dispenser.
Like a leech he would act, to get the drugs he required
To help him beat all his toys to the ends his desired.
Teleporter did not escape the abusive trends
As Engy pimped her out to his bloodthirsty friends.
They all would use Teleport in an orgy so stressed
that the poor device was exhausted but never could rest.
When any of these devices did not function right,
Engineer simply killed them, blowing them out of sight.
Then the cycle would continue or abuse and of lust
As his creations would be beaten in a manner unjust.
By now the jury was gasping in disbelief
As Engy buries his head in his arms, filled with grief.
At once, the verdict was delivered with the pound of the gavel,
and now Engineer's life would begin to unravel.
Defeated, resigned, he is taken from the room
To meet the prison cell that would be certain doom.
Locked up and away from world in disgrace,
The last words he said: "Plaintiff sappin' mah court case."
~fin~Kibibitz
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The Scout Police
The medic sweats against the wall with nowhere left to run
As he grits his teeth and meets the eyes of that dreaded scattergun.
With a glare the scout pulls out his badge and shows off the shiny piece
with crusty red blood and giant gold letters that read "The Scout Police".
They are an evil organization bent on killing the healing cause,
stalking and murdering those who break the healing laws.
You never see them coming until the moment they come at
your face with a blunderbuss or the tip of their bat.
"Well well well," smirks the scout, "Lookie what I have found:
A medic, in a corner, and not a soul around."
Whipping out baseball bat strikes the medic across the jaw,
and tow