The Heavy's Prayer...

Grant me a good gun
and an good use for it.
Grant me a good medic
so that he can feed my lust for blood
Let my enemies fall before me in a hail of bullets
while I cackle at their demise
Lead me unto defenseless medics
so that they may learn to know my pimp hands
and fear my wraith.

God Bless the Heavy
God Bless the Fortress.

Please don't take this and run with it. I doubt you guys will, but it goes without saying that I'm sure our religious deities sponsor a certain class in TF2.

crackle at their demise? like rice crispies?

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That's the sound they make when my knife hits their back. They might have been cackling before that.

the snap the crackle or the pop?

typo ftl? was at work so i never had time to look back on it.

and i eat spies for breakfast...as long as i see em.

Right, as long as you see them, that's the problem...
But this prayer is a nice idea.

Genth approves. Maybe Melandru would hear the prayers of a Sniper. Balthazar would approve of Pyros, and I'm sure Spies owe their powers to Lyssa on some level.

As a heavy this prayer shall guide me and sasha to victory, or at least a better personal ranking lol. 

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TF2 GW Edition Prayers...

For best results pray to altars for your respective gods:

Scout: Dwayna and Melandru (use the land to your advantage and always try to stay airborn)

Soldier, Demoman, and Heavy: Balthazar and Grenth (war and death, need I say more?)

Pyro: Balthazar and Lyssa (gotta be sneaky and ruthless)

Engineer: Melandru and Balthazar (know your land and how to defend it; build from it)

Medic: Dwayna and Balthazar (have the goodness to help others, even in the heat of battle)

Sniper: Melandru and Grenth (seek the high ground and express deliver death to your enemies)

Spy: Lyssa and Grenth (blend in with your foes and sabotage them from within)

you people are still reading this? wow.